Inspire His Love For You - So How Do You Do It ?
(to read Part 1 - Click Here)
First, you must give yourself permission to feel everything you feel and embrace the fact that you and your feelings are not perfect.
You aren't perfect - no one is. And thank goodness for that!
Every women suffers inside at some point and has deep needs that must be met.
tried sooo hard to keep a smile on my face and a giggle between most my
sentences when my marriage was falling apart and all I really wanted to
do was scream in his face; “I’m so lonely and I hate you so much for
making me love you and for treating me like crapola!”
I didn’t want to “annoy” him with my heavy emotions and I also didn’t want him to know that I cared THAT MUCH.
So many women do this and if you do, honey, you are NOT alone.
Second thing you can do is to get brave and talk with him about your feelings!
Take a moment when you are with him and feeling strong inside to share your feelings.
Keep it about YOU and what YOU feel instead of about him and all his faults.
Make a point to talk from your heart instead of your from “adult self". In fact, if you aren’t feeling “on the verge of tears” you are probably guarding your heart too much when talking to him.
So the third thing you can do is “bleed out” your vulnerability in front of him.
Look at him, connect with his eyes, touch his hand, and tell him how much he matters to you. Tell him why you love him and what his love truly means to your life.
Allow yourself to warm-up to him and let your numb, rational feelings melt into a raw sensitivity.
To do this you have to trust him. You have to think about his “good side”. You have to think about the positive moments you two have shared and the wonderful things he has done for you. (Every man, no matter how toxic, has some good qualities.)
Once you feel more vulnerable, share your needs with him. Tell him what you want from a relationship. Again, don’t point out his inability to provide, just stick to expressing your desires.
Your man may close off. He may shut down and say nothing. He may even get grouchy. Don’t worry.
See, your emotions may overwhelm him and make him feel vulnerable. He doesn’t want to feel this way, it’s too revealing for him as a “man”.
Your emotions may also make him feel inadequate to helping you. Men want to be knights in shining armor, they don’t want to watch a woman experiencing pain because of their actions.
However, his initial feelings of being overwhelmed, and possibly inadequate, will subside.
Patiently accept ANY reaction he gives you. Make things about your need to “bleed out your feelings” and don’t attack him for shutting down or push him to open up. If you give him room to react however he feels, he will come to you eventually and share his feelings with you. He will do what he can to be there for you once he “emotionally recuperates” and feels less incompetent.
When he does start to talk to you about your feelings (whether it’s right away or after a bit of time) be prepared to be surprised. Allow yourself to TRUST in what he has to say. Trust in his feelings for you and in his deep desire to please you.
Help guide him toward a solution to your hurt feelings.
Don’t forget to also ask him what YOU CAN DO to help the relationship grow, too! He may know what he needs from you but has been too timid to ask.
You may be quite happy with the way things turn out and the deep bond of emotional closeness that may begin to form between you both.
If you find that you hide your negative feelings from a man, stuffing them down inside you by “doing, doing, doing” for him, PLEASE do your happiness and health a favor and visit
If you find that you hide your negative feelings from a man, stuffing them down inside you by “doing, doing, doing” for him, PLEASE do your happiness and health a favor and visit, Inspire His Love For You. Co-authors Sarah Jeanette and Kristina Marchant share their secrets to inspiring a man’s love. They break down communication in easy steps.